Kanzivirus
Kanzivirus is an extremely dangerous virus that infects young people. FHO(Femboy Health Organization) has been researching this virus for quite a while. Infected people turn into what we call a "Kanzi"; a philosophical zombie that has no original ideas, interests or taste. Kanzis also don't have any distinct features you can use to differentiate them from their counterparts. They all look exactly the same with the curly hair being the first thing that catches one's attention.
Symptoms
Warning: A Kanzi may show only a few, all, or more of those symptoms. If you're unsure about it, go to the nearest FHO center for a free checkup.
Kanzivirus symptoms are very obvious and can be noticed with minimal effort. Some symptoms include:
- Change in physical appearance
- Apple obsession
- Unintelligible language
- Social media addiction
- Starbucks addiction
- Decrease in attention span
- NPC behavior
- Unexplainable tech illiteracy
More detailed information is available here.
Change in physical appearance
An infected person will start changing their appearance to look like a Kanzi. The reason is still unknown. Please look at other Kanzis to see if they look similar.
Apple obsession
Kanzis will become obsessed with crappy Apple products. They will do anything to get their hands on the newest iToy including but not limited with: lying, stealing, throwing tantrums. They will constantly brag about how good their iToy that they paid a car's worth of money to, even though they only use it to browse social media.
Unintelligible language
Kanzis have a specific language they speak amongst their kind. This language includes stuff like: "bussin", "no cap", "frfr", "ong", and so forth. We still don't know what they all mean. 3 FHO researchers have committed suicide by drinking 6 liters of engine lubricant after being exposed to this language for around a week.
Social media addiction
Kanzis spend almost all their day on various social media platforms. They're on par with e-hentai addicts on screen time. It's still unknown what they find so entertaining on social media.
Starbucks addiction
Starbucks is the number one habitat of a Kanzi. They will spend countless hours there, probably for the free WiFi that they can use for social media. Instead of speaking with the person directly in front of them, they use their phones to communicate. FHO researchers tested this by putting a test subject in Starbucks and trying different stimulants like flashing lights and sound. Kanzi didn't respond to any of them, he was hypnotized by his iToy.
Decrease in attention span
Infected people have a noticeable attention span shortage mostly due to the videos on social media. They will have a hard time following anything you say if it exceeds 1 minute. FHO researchers did an exam with a room full of Kanzis. The exam took 10 minutes, 9 minutes more than their average attention span. The class average of the exam was -7. We still don't understand how, the exam is supposed to be 0 to 100. One subject scored a solid 10 in the exam which brings up the possibility that Kanzivirus is in a spectrum but that is still being researched.
NPC behavior
Kanzis will act like NPCs from video games. Their actions are extremely predictable and their routine is always the same. If you observe any of them for a day you'll be surprised how they even stay alive and not get hit by a car while crossing the road with their phones in their hands.
Unexplainable tech illiteracy
Even though they have all sorts of technological devices like phones, computers, internet and so forth, a Kanzi will have trouble doing anything other than browsing social media. If you ask them to simply copy a file, they'll try logging into some nonsense "cloud".
Cause
The cause is currently unknown. FHO researchers think it spreads with social media. Some people also think government is running a secret cloning project and they're dumping the results to the closest Starbucks.
Prevention
The best way to protect yourself from Kanzivirus is by staying away from social media. Stay away from any "gen z humor" on the internet. If you feel like any of those(YouTube link with dangerous material, open with precaution) are funny, IMMEDIATELY shut down all your technological devices and go to the nearest FHO center.
Cure
Kanzivirus has no known widespread cure. FHO researchers are still trying to find a cure for this virus. While there is no absolute cure for this, its effects can be decreased by cutting Kanzi's internet connection. A Kanzi has no technological knowledge whatsoever so simply unplugging the router will do the trick. They won't be able to understand why internet is gone or how to fix it.